Blackbird

I remember having trouble sleeping one night before a hospital day with Dad. Some hours after laying on an air mattress, staring at the ceiling, I tiptoed out to the kitchen for a drink, only to see his door cracked open and the light on.

I remember how happy he looked to see my head peek in the door, as if he had been waiting for my company. He turned down the page of his book, put his glasses on his desk, but kept his ear buds in, ipod rested next to him.

He scooted his back toward the wall and patted the mattress with a grin that I couldn't possibly say no to.

I didn't ask why he was awake. He didn't ask why I couldn't sleep.

Actually, I don't think we said anything at all.

I laid down next to him, with my back to his stomach, and he pulled his right ear bud out of his ear and put it in mine.
He wrapped his arm around me and squeezed me in tight, and kissed the back of my head as if he'd never have the chance to do it again.

I don't know how long it took me to drift off, but the only song I remember hearing was "Blackbird."

It very well may have been the first time I'd ever really listened to the lyrics of that song, or maybe just the first time they really sung to me.

I just remember crying into that pillow thinking I may never get the chance to do this again.

I didn't.

I cry now remembering how small I felt that night, like the little girl I never got the chance to be.
I cry now remembering how safe I felt, right there, and that I'll never get that back.

...I laugh now, because Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da just came on my Beatles shuffle, and I guess that's a hint that that's enough crying.

I smile because it's a memory I'll always cherish, and a song that will always sing for him.

 Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these broken wings and learn to fly
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to arise

Black bird singing in the dead of night
Take these sunken eyes and learn to see
all your life
you were only waiting for this moment to be free

Blackbird fly, Blackbird fly
Into the light of the dark black night.

Blackbird fly, Blackbird fly
Into the light of the dark black night.

Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these broken wings and learn to fly
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to arise,
You were only waiting for this moment to arise,
You were only waiting for this moment to arise