Happy New Year!!

On the first day of a month that marks the end of the hardest year of my life, I wish to declare MY new year beginning, today. March shall mark anew in many more ways than incrementing the date of the year. It will be a new beginning, a new foundation, a fresh start. After a year of treading water, and picking up the pieces, I'm ready to put myself in motion. 


It's just the right time to realize and practice how precious every day is, and how lucky I am to have my friends, my health, and my passion. 


This year is for me, but even more so, this year is for Dad. Every day to it's fullest, the way he would want me to live it. 

I want some say too

The moments that are a struggle, make the happy ones taste that much sweeter. We don't stop to realize that when we are going through life's hardest moments that it is defining who we are, even if we don't know. 

It is in these moments that we are learning our strengths, our weaknesses, our needs and our wants. We learn what we are capable of, and when we just need to ask for help. 

We just don't give ourselves credit for these moments in life because no one enjoys them. No one likes hurt, or pain, loneliness, or frustration.

Yet in this low of low, we are opening ourselves up to the next highest of highs. We are stretching our character and learning our own boundaries. 

It is through these tears, this sadness, this hurt, that I will define myself because I will not let what has happened in my life, define who I am. I want some say too.

Strength in Friends

We have the tendency to burry our troubles and worries in some subconscious fear that we may burden others with our load.

It's like holding your nose and forgetting that you can just open your mouth and breathe.

The phone is just one of those life lines we forget we have because it's always there.

There's no comfort better in life than the understanding of an old friend.

Even if it's just to remind us to breathe.

A New Perspective

One of my friends just got out of a long term relationship. He's been pretty down lately, and nothing you can say to him seems appropriate or helpful.

Last night I asked him how we was doing with everything, and he stopped shaking the martini he was making, and began trying to explain to me something, he thought, was crazy.

He told me that he was at class today, and he saw this man he often sees around campus, in a wheelchair, on breathing tubes.

He said that today he watched him struggling to take a deep breath, and he couldn't help but notice that this handicapped man was smiling in spite of his struggle to simply breathe.

I nodded as he told me this story, and asked him if it helped put this temporary pain in perspective.

He agreed that it was just that. Temporary.

It seemed, to him, unfortunate that it took this man's suffering to make him realize how he could just be grateful to be alive, and breathing.

Surely, that man is not suffering though. He may have a different perspective on life, but perhaps it has helped him realize that just a breath of air is worth smiling over.

Warmth

I woke up Tuesday morning and didn't want to get out from under all my covers. I heard the rain being splashed from the cars whizzing and didn't bother looking out to see the rain spilling down the window.

Well, my oil tank was empty. When I finally trekked downstairs, blanket wrapped around me and all, the thermostat was stuck at 50.

So- I was thankful for the warmth in my car on my drive to the gym.

Strange how the cold put some heat to my day.

I went for mail and came back with a penny.

I walked to my P.O. Box today, which is only a few blocks from my front door. It feels so far when it's 37 degrees and windy, but I just walked faster.

I have a habit of peering inside through the little glass door numbered 42, before I even put my key in the lock.
I didn't bother.
It was empty.

I felt a sink of disappointment that I walked in the cold for nothing.

Then I saw a penny on the sidewalk I didn't notice on my way in.

I picked it up and smiled. 

 Too often we're so busy looking ahead, that it's so easy to miss the now.

Sweet Sundays

I miss the Sunday's that used to be filled with new groceries, cheap coffee, the labradors, Breakfast with The Beatles and Dad.

I wake up in silence on Sunday's and feel an instant emptiness for the life and love that used to fill those mornings. The chaos that went around them, and the comfort they offered me at the end of a week.

Today was warm for a February day. Sunshine on a Sunday is always a good day.

"I'll get by with a little help from my friends."

Commending ourselves

I doubt I'm the only one that tends to pick out my weaknesses before I shine light on my strengths.

 This morning I woke up happy for valuing myself enough to make a difficult decision last night.

We may not get to choose everything that happens in our lives, but we do get to choose how we react. You can choose to show strength, instead of weakness. You can choose to stand behind your character and not give someone that chance to define you.

Everyone may have their demons, but self worth trumps all.

Sunshine through my window

There's something about sunshine that starts a day out right. Sitting at my desk with sun spilling in the window just promises that the warmth is coming.

I looked through my old photo booth pictures this morning and it made me sad. But under that sadness was love, and that love made me happy.

It's not always easy to peel through the sadness, but underneath it there's usually love. . . And all you need is love <3

My canvas is blank and I don't want to smear it

 Life is too short to put off anything that can be done today. So I'll start here and make my first mark.

I found happiness today in baking a turkey. Then it was hiding in a paint can that colored the last wall of my inspiration room. It appeared later in a clean kitchen, and yet again sitting in a classroom where this blog was born.

Happiness is everywhere, and I'm finally getting in tune with how to find it every day.

My waking thought makes some feel like a lost cause, and more of a burden to even pull the covers down from over my head.

If nothing more than the reason that it's a day closer to finding new happiness, surely we can find something to keep us going through the days that don't seem quite so inspirational.

Like a fresh start, because who doesn't love those?